Walking down the aisle

I’m engaged!!

Hi, to anyone that somehow ended up on my blog today. Feels like I haven’t updated anything since I started my job, but I want to come back go blogging since something awesome happened this past weekend.

I’m engaged!!!

I’ve been with my boyfriend for a little over 2.5 yrs now, and we stayed strong through the entire year I was gone in Spain. We met on Tinder (!!! I know) and we are the success story of Tinder for our friends.

Our first date – a few days before NYE 2013, we met up for lunch and grabbed coffee. Then he walked me home, the usual, nice date but nothing spectacular. And he messaged me again on NYE and asked me out on another date at my favourite restaurant, and the rest is history. We understand each other, we can talk all day to each other, we can stay silent for hours and not feel comfortable, we fit perfectly when we cuddle, and we love each other.

And last weekend – we went away to Sparkling Hill in Vernon. I’ve been wanting to go to this place for so long, but it is an expensive place so he kept saying probably not. Then one day in April when I was at work, he messaged me and asked me if I still wanted to go. I said OF COURSE, and we got there after work on Friday.

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He told me that he wanted to hike on Saturday so he asked the hotel to pack us a little lunch so we can have it at the top, so we started hiking. The signs and my map-reading skill were not the most efficient so we got lost a couple of times, but we found a big rock that we could sit on and have our little lunch. So we were eating, looking over the hills, and I said something about how the weather’s perfect for hiking, and he said that it’s cute when I speak broken English (Yup I still do time to time, even after 16 years of living in Canada lol). Then he looked at me with his hand in his pocket, and popped out the ring, and said “Baby I love you, will you marry me?”13528777_10154171596530149_7508512182820187164_n

This happened so many times in my imagination, in different places, in different times. And the real one was just perfect. I cried, he cried, we stopped crying for a bit, I called my parents to let them know, cried again, stopped crying again, then found out he was talking to my best friend behind my back the entire time, then started crying again. Then eventually I had to stop crying because we had to take a selfie.

On our way back, he told me there’s going to be another surprise for me in the room – and there was!!! Peonies and hydrangeas are two of my favourite flowers, and I’ve been begging him to buy me peonies for the past few weeks. And he had a whole vase full of pink peonies in our room! Of course this initiated another round of water works, so it was a day full with a lot of happy tears. 13529145_10154171596560149_6708741524956797682_n

I’ve had my Wedding Dreaming pinterest board for years now, and it feels so weird that I won’t be just pinning whatever. I’m actually gonna have to plan my wedding!! And since I am a project manager, I’m all about spreadsheets, gantt charts, timelines, and all the fun stuff. I already have my guest list spread sheet, event planning vendors spreadsheet, and a few others, so I want to share what I’m going through with people who are going through it at the same time with me / people who will be going through it.

Thank you for reading 🙂

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Daily

I’m not jobless anymore – after 6 long months

I’ve been job hunting since pretty much last May, even before I finished my Master’s, but let’s only count the months after I got back home. Since August last year, I probably applied to hundreds of jobs, went through countless phone interviews, in-person interviews, and I still couldn’t find anything. It was especially more heartbreaking since I came so close – like I went through the final rounds of interviews – but those companies ended up postponing their hiring or went under hiring freeze. What are the chances, right?

Truth be told, I was quite depressed the last 6 months while I was job hunting. I already am suffering from anxiety attacks and asthma, and all this stress was not doing any good on my body as well as my psychological state. I knew it probably was a matter of time until I find a job, but I just couldn’t bear the stress. All my life I’ve been spoiled, getting everything I wanted if I put my mind to it – from getting into a university, master’s, friends, family, etc. But job hunting was the only aspect of my life where I couldn’t have any control over. I tried to control myself, but some days I would be just extremely depressed – there’s no other way of describing it – and I would stay in my room and just cry all day. My parents were worried about me, my boyfriend as well, and I refused to attend any social events until I got a job. It truly was the time to see how weak I am.

I was getting used to those generic ‘thank you for applying, but we regret to inform you…’ emails. I was also getting used to just silence after application/interviews. I was looking for jobs online, pulling every string of connections, dropping names, letting everyone around me that I was looking for a job. But it just wasn’t working out. It seemed like my resume wasn’t even going through the initial HR screening, and if a company wanted to have an interview with me, they were ‘looking for someone junior that can do a senior person’s job’ – meaning that they’re going to pay me an entrance level salary while I do much more work.

This was one of the biggest reasons why I was getting even more depressed. I just spent almost $40,000 to pursue my master’s from this renowned business school in Europe, and these companies were only looking to pay me even less than what I was getting at my previous job. I hated myself for having to come back to Vancouver, and I would get so upset over the fact that all my hard work didn’t end up in a quantifiable result.I heard horror stories of people graduating from LSE with master’s and they couldn’t find a job for a year when they came back to Vancouver. I’m a business person, I need my ROI!!

And the whole time, I was debating about whether I was actually being ambitious with my career plans, or I was just being greedy. This distinction between ambition and greed came down to hunt me for months. I always told myself and others that I am an ambitious person, with my 10-year plan that I am pretty much in track of. But was this all just me being greedy? What if I am not worth all those great things? And this question felt especially harder to swallow since I am a Christian, and you are told that God has plans for you from the beginning of the times. What if His plans for me are way different than my own goals, ambition, and dreams? How am I supposed to know?

Anyways, at the end, I knew all I could do was to try. Keep trying, keep applying, keep interviewing, keep asking around, just keep going. And after 6 months of having nothing, I ended up having three offers on the table. But this was only because I gave chance to companies that were offering salaries lower than my expectations. I just had to compromise with reality. Then I wrote to my director from the company I used to work at, and told him that I have these offers but I would love to come back again. We had this talk since I came back but they were not able to come up with a position in Vancouver, but now that I was in ‘demand’ they looked into it. And that’s how I found my new – old- job at my old company. I got a pretty significant raise, and a promotion.

Through all these 6 months, I guess I learned (again) that some things are just out of my control. I’m pretty sure I’ll still beat myself over it if I have to go through another job hunt in the future, but it’s just another experience. I condensed my crazy emotional roller coaster for the last half a year into 800 words, and I’m afraid it doesn’t really have any ‘tips’ or ‘short cuts’ for people still looking for a job. But I just want to say – it’s only a matter of time. Just keep trying. Don’t give up, and try your best. And soon enough you will be signing your contract for your new job.

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